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not sure but i think it would be a good idea to do a quick writeup of every day. Fighting temptation to weigh myself tomorrow, but that’s not the kind of reward I need. Momentum is good so I pray that I keep improving. I was controlled and I felt so positive and hopeful. I hardly looked in the mirror at all today and that felt awesome. And even with that I was more forgiving of myself than usual. I had a little slip up eating Amanda’s chocolate but otherwise I was good today. Quick write because Im tired but I had to record - I feel really good. he has brought me further spiritually in these past couple days than the whole time i’ve been trying through my own power. but i am really making progress, despite what the scale will say, and i praise abba for that. i need to get back on track with pushing out negative thoughts about my belly. that is not as bad as it could be i guess. i feel ready, but lord i will keep my mind open so definitely let me know if that is not a good idea. wow! growth! praise the lord! and i made a good decision of not working out tomorrow because being kind to myself is more important than immediate progress. but i thought about food a lot less today which is good. so i guess the lesson is not to feel starved the whole day or else this happens. but i just had peanut butter and a kitkat which counts as dessert i guess. i did slip up a bit tonight because dinner was early and tbh i’m really hungry. and i just had carrots for snack, and dinner was vegetables vegetables salad and a bit of meat and honeydew. I didn’t eat incredibly healthy because breakfast was rushed (english muffin) and i had lunch with wasif, but i didn’t eat all my dumplings and i had water and black coffee. Now I need to apply this to school stress too.
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But overall, The Lord is sustaining me and has taught me so much these past several days. My belly is still gross and I need help abba with the positivity thing and not engaging those thoughts. It hasn’t even been a week yet, so I have to keep reminding myself to be patient. It was 136.5 which I was pretty happy about. I know I have made progress in gods eyes and I have no reason to fear the number. I weighed myself and it went well! I didn’t feel fearful and dependent on it. But this is about a long obedience in the same direction so that’s okay. so yeah the cravings suck but abba can help and one good decision leads to another.Ībout the same. like right now i could totally go eat amandas chex mix or dark chocolate or trail mix or nutella UGH but i am just gonna get in bed ok ugh. Pretty much the same, but i do want to note that ive been having slightly more intense night cravings :( but i will look at it as an opportunity to get better at reaching out to the spirit.
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