not sure but i think it would be a good idea to do a quick writeup of every day. Fighting temptation to weigh myself tomorrow, but that’s not the kind of reward I need. Momentum is good so I pray that I keep improving. I was controlled and I felt so positive and hopeful. I hardly looked in the mirror at all today and that felt awesome. And even with that I was more forgiving of myself than usual. I had a little slip up eating Amanda’s chocolate but otherwise I was good today. Quick write because Im tired but I had to record - I feel really good. he has brought me further spiritually in these past couple days than the whole time i’ve been trying through my own power. but i am really making progress, despite what the scale will say, and i praise abba for that. i need to get back on track with pushing out negative thoughts about my belly. that is not as bad as it could be i guess. i feel ready, but lord i will keep my mind open so definitely let me know if that is not a good idea. wow! growth! praise the lord! and i made a good decision of not working out tomorrow because being kind to myself is more important than immediate progress. but i thought about food a lot less today which is good. so i guess the lesson is not to feel starved the whole day or else this happens. but i just had peanut butter and a kitkat which counts as dessert i guess. i did slip up a bit tonight because dinner was early and tbh i’m really hungry. and i just had carrots for snack, and dinner was vegetables vegetables salad and a bit of meat and honeydew. I didn’t eat incredibly healthy because breakfast was rushed (english muffin) and i had lunch with wasif, but i didn’t eat all my dumplings and i had water and black coffee. Now I need to apply this to school stress too.
But overall, The Lord is sustaining me and has taught me so much these past several days. My belly is still gross and I need help abba with the positivity thing and not engaging those thoughts. It hasn’t even been a week yet, so I have to keep reminding myself to be patient. It was 136.5 which I was pretty happy about. I know I have made progress in gods eyes and I have no reason to fear the number. I weighed myself and it went well! I didn’t feel fearful and dependent on it. But this is about a long obedience in the same direction so that’s okay. so yeah the cravings suck but abba can help and one good decision leads to another.Ībout the same. like right now i could totally go eat amandas chex mix or dark chocolate or trail mix or nutella UGH but i am just gonna get in bed ok ugh. Pretty much the same, but i do want to note that ive been having slightly more intense night cravings :( but i will look at it as an opportunity to get better at reaching out to the spirit.
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